I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
