We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
