Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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