there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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