I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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