Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
