at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
