dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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