Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
