tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
