My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
bring money and cleavage
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
