i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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