hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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