it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
