I hate all girls vehemently.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
