I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize