Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize