we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
