can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
