The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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