After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
