you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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