How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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