Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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