i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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