Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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