i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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