...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there's paper in my vomit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
