I want to make a zoo with you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
