just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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