I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
