porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So much rum. So many feels.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
