guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
