I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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