Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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