you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
