He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
