I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
