i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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