wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
is wine microwaveable?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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