i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
