Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
