New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
