Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize