I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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