I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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