next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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