one might say we're banned from that church
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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