no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
