I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
