if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
