let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize