I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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