I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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