Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize