I wanna bring you to show and tell
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She even gives head with a lisp.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
