His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
