He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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