Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
