This is the prime rib incident all over again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
