How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
