sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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