Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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