You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
