You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
