he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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