I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
