i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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