i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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