hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
